Ever Yours
by gobalbucs
Summary: "We were a breath away and yet a whole world apart from each other." Sirius falls behind the veil, but every night he returns to Remus through his lover's dreams, and the werewolf finds that you can't miss someone if they don't go away. "I'm ever yours, Remus, and I'll never leave you alone again."


**A/N****: Yo-di-yo-di-YO!**

**Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking: Where in the HECK have you been? I know, I know. Life has decided to shove its rear into my face (pardon the expression) for the past couple months. I've been trying to get back on the bandwagon so here is my attempt at a another (light) slash fic! :D Now normally I don't write in first person, but after getting inspiration from this awesome book I just finished reading, I realized that it just wouldn't work quite right if I wrote it in my typical third person omniscent style.**

**I hope you enjoy nonetheless!**

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Ever Yours

I started counting the seconds. Maybe if I kept track, he would still be connected to me somehow. Unfortunately, it was becoming exceedingly difficult to concentrate on the sequential numbers due to the chaos still happening around us. Spells continued to fly and the yelling grew louder, but there seemed to be an enormous bubble that surrounded me and Harry, blocking out the roar and drowning it out in a low hum. My arms had encircled Harry's torso and I almost managed to lift his feet off the ground, but within seconds, he had ripped himself away and torn after the woman that had wrought the end of my world.

Sirius was gone.

_Fifth Year_

"_You weren't in the Great Hall during lunch today," said Sirius, coming up behind me in the Charms Corridor. "Lily told me you hardly ever eat there anymore. Where've you been going?"_

_I attempted to stave off the flushing in my cheeks before I turned to face him, and failed miserably. Really, my fancying Sirius was getting out of hand. It won't be long before I'm rendered nonverbal. After all, it doesn't mean anything that he just now noticed that I rarely eat with him and the rest of the marauders anymore. _

"_Sounds like you two had quite an intriguing conversation," I quipped, trying in vain to keep my voice light._

"_Oh, indeed we did," he confirmed, catching up and walking alongside me. "And she also told me that you've been avoiding the Great Hall because you couldn't bear to be around me since you like me."_

_I gasped and stopped dead in my tracks. _Lily, I am SO gonna murder you!_ I thought._

"_Is that true?" Sirius asked me, backing up and turning to make eye contact._

_Heat flooded my face again and I tried to turn away, but Sirius stepped sideways so that he blocked my escape route and left me with nowhere else to look but at him._

"_Is that true?" He asked again, a bit more urgently._

"_Unfortunately," I answered. "The crowds and the noise have been getting to me- too close to the full moon and all."_

"_Bullshit. According to Lily, you've been doing this for the past two months. Besides, that's not what I'm getting at."_

"_I know."_

"_So tell me, is it true? Do you _like_ me?"_

_I rolled my eyes. "C'mon Pads, you know I like you. We _are_ best friends after all."_

"_Friends?" Sirius repeated._

"_Of course."_

"_Good friends?"_

"_Naturally."_

"_More than friends?"_

_I was silent and I didn't move. Then Sirius reached his hand out and gently tugged at my fingers. He leaned forward and said, "So tell me, _friend_, is there more for us?"_

_I looked straight into his handsome grey eyes. "There's everything for us, Padfoot."_

It's been three months since the battle at the Department of Mysteries, three months since Sirius died. And for every night from then on, I've looked forward to the end of the day when I could finally fall asleep, and dream.

Ever since that day, I'd tried to stop counting, but the numbers kept filing past my eyes and resting in my head. Eventually, they came to be nothing but flashes, no longer holding a proper form, ticking away the moments since I had last seen Sirius. The seconds evolved into minutes, then into hours, days, and weeks.

What had happened to my best friend had destroyed me, and I wondered how my body managed to stay together while my heart and soul had been shattered into a thousand splinters. Each time I peeked into a mirror, it had astounded me that the cracks weren't visible across my face. Every time I smiled, I should have fallen apart.

But now, Sirius was invading my dreams. Not a dream Sirius, but the real thing.

I knew this because he was able to tell me what Harry had been doing when he visited him the same way at the Dursleys. When had I owled him about it, he told me the exact same things Sirius did.

Once I was asleep, Sirius would come into my room and sit on the end of the bed. He came to me every night, talking about anything and everything with me, about what's going on with Harry, about the Yule Ball of sixth year, about how my hair falls to hide my eyes, how my hand fits so perfectly within his, how much he loves me, how he'll never leave me.

"I'm ever yours, Remus," he always told me with a warm smile. "And I'll never leave you alone again."

Every night, Sirius was with me. He lied down on his side, lengthwise on the bed, and propped his head on my pillow with his face inches from mine. I would mirror his position, and he'd place his hand over mine but I could never feel it. We had discovered long ago that we couldn't touch, that I was as much of a ghost to him as he was to me. We were just a breath away, and yet a whole world apart from one another.

He didn't know where he went when he wasn't with me, but he wasn't sure that he even existed anymore, except for in my dreams. I believed that he was right, and I told him to hang on; told him that I would never stop dreaming of him, never stop loving him, and that one day:

"I will find you."

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**A/N****: So hopefully this turned out okay. I would love to know what you thought of it! Please leave comments of either compliments or constructive criticism, or both, whichever makes you happy :)**

**Reviews please! :D**

**Also, PS: For those of you who are reading _The Marauders and The Prisoner of Azkaban_, I am only a few pages away from completion of chapter 6! I should finally have the next installment ready by the end of this weekend! I apologize profusely ahead of time for the wait :(**


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